Middle-aged people using smileys make you want to throw up. But emoticons are here to stay :p
It’s getting hard to say anything genuine online any more. I sat at the
keyboard for ten minutes yesterday trying to thank someone for their
help without it looking like I was taking the p*ss. Properly punctuated,
everything just looks angrily sarcastic or offhand.
That probably explains why emoticons (or “smileys” if you like, they
both sound offensively cutesy) have conquered the world. I’m talking
about colons followed by a closed parentheses which sometimes turn to
actual cartoon, usually yellow, faces:
We use them to indicate we are being nice. If you don’t know what I
mean then you’re probably unwittingly offending people every day.
Not long ago emoticons were just another bit of computer nerdery.
Like “cookies” or “firewall settings”, you knew they existed but you
never touched them. I was a teenager when these little yellow faces were
popularised (the first digital one was in 1982 and in written form they
go back to the 19th century, but they’ve spread thanks to instant
messaging) and I couldn’t imagine any adult ever seriously using them.
They belonged in gaming forums and emails between hopelessly wet
teenyboppers.
More by Jack Rivlin:
•Pure shopping
Looks On Campus: Ellie – Colorado State University
•
Surely, I predicted, by the time I reached full-time employment I
would never see an emoticon again. In fact, the opposite has happened –
as I’ve got older, they’ve got more and more common. Adults are the
chief offenders. In email discussions about investment agreements and
company valuations, you’ll see high-powered businessmen chucking in the
winking face and, perhaps most sickeningly, the sticking-tongue-out-face
:p in a bid to soften sentences.